


Beep Beep Richie

by garroways, trashmouthtozier



Category: IT (2017), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bisexual Richie Tozier, F/M, Gay Eddie Kaspbrak, I'm not funny, M/M, Richie Can Be Soft If He Wants To, Richie Swears A Lot, So Does Eddie if You Piss Him Off Enough, Texting, They're All Like Sixteen, Which Richie Does All The Time, everyone is a little gay, not surprisingly
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-17
Updated: 2017-10-17
Packaged: 2019-01-18 11:05:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,764
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12386811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/garroways/pseuds/garroways, https://archiveofourown.org/users/trashmouthtozier/pseuds/trashmouthtozier
Summary: they make a gc and it's a huge messnan and i wanted to make a gc fic so here we are





	1. does richie tozier is gay ???

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is my first fic in this fandom ( even though ive been a fan of it for quite a while ) so pls work w me here
> 
> this isnt really funny but it'll get better hopefully ???? probably not ?????

_**beverlymarsh** added **billdenbrough** , **stanleyuris** , **eddiekaspbrak** , **benhanscom** and **mikehanlon** to the conversation._

**billdenbrough:** thank you for not adding richie

 **eddiekaspbrak:** why didn't you add richie

 **benhanscom:** yeah bev u didn't add his bf 

 **eddiekaspbrak:** ex fucking cuse me

_**beverlymarsh** named the conversation **we all know you have the hots for trashmouth tozier**_

_**eddiekaspbrak** left the conversation_

_**benhanscom** added **eddiekaspbrak** to the conversation_

**benhanscom:** JUST ADMIT IT

 **eddiekaspbrak:** ill fight all of you

_**stanleyuris** added **richietozier** to the conversation_

**beverlymarsh:** STAN WAIT

 **richietozier:** who has the hots for me

 **richietozier:** show yourself

 **eddiekaspbrak:** who would ever have the hots for you

 **richietozier:** idk how about you ask your mother

 **eddiekaspbrak:** SHUT THE FUCK UP RICHIE

 **mikehanlon:** i hate all of you

 **richietozier:** seriously who has the hots for me

 **richietozier:** i dont want any of u assholes to like me

 **billdenbrough:** good thing we don't then

 **richietozier:** except maybe eddie

 **beverlymarsh:** do you even like guys

 **richietozier:** yeah who doesn't

 **mikehanlon:** me

 **benhanscom:** me

 **richietozier:** ur really missing out

 **stanleyuris:** how did i never know you're not straight

 **richietozier:** if u actually listened to me when i spoke u would know

 **eddiekaspbrak:** that's really hard to do when you never shut the hell up

 **richietozier:** ur feisty today eds

 **eddiekaspbrak:** don't call me that

_**beverlymarsh** named the conversation **gays, half gays, and ben and mike**_

**billdenbrough:** amazing

 **richietozier:** are you fuckers gonna tell me who here likes me or not

 **billdenbrough:** i have a boyfriend so you know it's not me

 **stanleyuris:** i am said boyfriend

 **beverlymarsh:** i have a boyfriend too

 **benhanscom:** that's me

 **richietozier:** so that leaves eddie and mike

 **mikehanlon:** im a straight™

 **richietozier:** hm

 **richietozier:** eddie

 **eddiekaspbrak:** no

 **richietozier:** ur the only one left bud

 **beverlymarsh:** sorry eddie

 **eddiekaspbrak:** ugh

 **eddiekaspbrak:** i just think you're attractive

 **eddiekaspbrak:** that's it

 **eddiekaspbrak:** now climb outta my ass

 **richietozier:** but it's fun messing w you

 **eddiekaspbrak:** not for me

 **billdenbrough:** alright leave eddie alone before he has an aneurysm

 **richietozier:** i think you're pretty attractive too if that means anything

 **beverlymarsh:** yo im fuckin cupid

 **eddiekaspbrak:** it's just a mutual attraction bev we're not gonna run off into the sunset together

 **richietozier:** yeah i dont really like running

 **richietozier:** we can walk into the sunset

 **eddiekaspbrak:** beep beep richie

 **benhanscom:** guys lets play truth or dare

 **stanleyuris:** what are we twelve

 **richietozier:** im down

 **mikehanlon:** of course you are

 **beverlymarsh:** im down too

 **billdenbrough:** since ben came up with the idea he's goin first

 **benhanscom:** ok cool

 **benhanscom:** eddie

 **eddiekaspbrak:** hi

 **benhanscom:** truth or dare

 **eddiekaspbrak:** shit,,, truth

 **benhanscom:** how exactly do you feel about richie

 **richietozier:** oooo

 **eddiekaspbrak:** i would kill him but i would also kill myself for him

 **richietozier:** :')

 **mikehanlon:** i just realized bev included herself in the gays and half gays

 **billdenbrough:** oh right what's that about

 **beverlymarsh:** right

 **beverlymarsh:** im pan

 **richietozier:** wait a minute

 **eddiekaspbrak:** i think i left my conscience on your front doorstep

 **beverlymarsh:** richie and eddie finishing each others sentences,,, did you mean the purest thing i've ever seen ???

 **benhanscom:** rt

 **eddiekaspbrak:** HHHHHH

 **richietozier:** ksksjks

 **billdenbrough:** so richie u like boys hm

 **richietozier:** yes i said that you have a speech impediment billy not a hearing problem

 **beverlymarsh:** does richie tozier is gay ???

 **richietozier:** i am a half gay

 **billdenbrough:** awesome welcome to the club

 **benhanscom:** wait i change my mind i wanna play two truths and a lie instead

 **stanleyuris:** ben make up your mind 

 **benhanscom:** ok i did

 **richietozier:** can i go first

 **mikehanlon:** no

 **benhanscom:** i guess

 **richietozier:** woo ok

 **richietozier:** i'm not a virgin, im terrified of clowns and i had the biggest crush on eddie about three years ago

 **stanleyuris:** i know which one is the lie but i didn't know the truths

 **beverlymarsh:** i know you're scared of clowns bc when we went to that haunted house you literally lost your shit when you saw that clown

 **mikehanlon:** the lie is that you're not a virgin

 **richietozier:** ding ding ding ive literally only kissed like three people

 **billdenbrough:** wait u liked eddie

 **richietozier:** ya

 **beverlymarsh:** do you still like him

 **richietozier:** i will not confirm nor deny

 **eddiekaspbrak:** thirteen year old me is losing his shit right now

 **beverlymarsh:** did thirteen year old you also like richie

 **eddiekaspbrak:** surprisingly yes

 **benhanscom:** does now you still like richie

 **eddiekaspbrak:** see richie's answer

 **mikehanlon:** yall are lying to us

 **richietozier:** we can't lie if we dont answer

 **beverlymarsh:** i really hate you guys

 **benhanscom:** ^^

 **eddiekaspbrak:** i gtg my mom's losing it

 **mikehanlon:** bye !

 **beverlymarsh:** :( bye

 **benhanscom:** this isn't over kaspbrak

 **stanleyuris:** goodbye

 **billdenbrough:** you're coming over tomorrow right

 **eddiekaspbrak:** obviously

 **richietozier:** bye eddie spaghetti

 **eddiekaspbrak:** stop fucking calling me that

 **richietozier:** eddie spaghetti

 **richietozier:** eddie spaghetti

 **richietozier:** eddie spaghetti

 **eddiekaspbrak:** BEEP BEEP RICHIE


	2. life, death, everything is relevant you know

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was the first chapter nan and i wrote together woo
> 
> you might be able to tell what she wrote bc the writing style changed a little like half way/two thirds of the way through
> 
> also she's much funnier than i am

**billdenbrough:** yo richie you like art right

 **richietozier:** sometimes i guess

 **billdenbrough:** what's your favorite type of art

 **richietozier:** boys

 **eddiekaspbrak:** my biggest mood

 **richietozier:** eddie is a close second

 **eddiekaspbrak:** oh-

 **beverlymarsh:** boys stop flirting

 **richietozier:** sorry mom

 **benhanscom:** what no keep flirting date have children 

 **eddiekaspbrak:** ben are you okay?

 **benhanscom:** no

 **eddiekaspbrak:** i need dating advice

 **eddiekaspbrak:** bev

 **beverlymarsh:** just bc im dating ben doesn't mean i know how i did it

 **stanleyuris:** step one: say hi

 **richietozier:** step two: suck his dick

 **mikehanlon:** richie you're such an idiot

 **benhanscom:** eddie has a crush ?????

 **eddiekaspbrak:** this isn't a new thing

 **beverlymarsh:** YOU'VE HAD A CRUSH AND YOU DIDN'T TELL US

 **eddiekaspbrak:** yes why the hell would i fucking tell you guys you're an embarrassment

 **billdenbrough:** who is he

 **eddiekaspbrak:** not saying

 **beverlymarsh:** is he cute

 **benhanscom:** do we know him

 **stanleyuris:** is he a non het

 **eddiekaspbrak:** yes³

 **mikehanlon:** what does he look like

 **eddiekaspbrak:** not telling you

 **beverlymarsh:** WHY

 **eddiekaspbrak:** because then it'll be fuckin obvious

 **benhanscom:** just tell us who it is

 **richietozier:** guys ill brb

_**eddiekaspbrak** removed **richietozier** from the conversation_

**stanleyuris:** i know where this is going

 **eddiekaspbrak:** fine its richie

 **beverlymarsh:** I FUCKING KNEW IT

 **billdenbrough:** just tell him you like him

 **eddiekaspbrak:** what no

 **mikehanlon:** seriously eddie what's the worst that could happen

 **eddiekaspbrak:** he could hear me

 **beverlymarsh:** eddie come on he literally will do anything for you it's pretty obvious he's completely gone for you

 **eddiekaspbrak:** bullshit

 **eddiekaspbrak:** im not telling him and that's final

_**eddiekaspbrak** added **richietozier** to the conversation_

**richietozier:** what happened i just got back and im being added again

 **eddiekaspbrak:** i tried to remove bev and removed you on accident

 **richietozier:** why did u try to remove her

 **beverlymarsh:** i wouldn't stop asking about his crush and he had enough

 **richietozier:** did he tell u

 **beverlymarsh:** nope

 **billdenbrough:** unfortunately

_**mikehanlon** named the conversation **eddie is so far up richie's ass he can taste the trash**_

**eddiekaspbrak:** MICHAEL

 **eddiekaspbrak:** shit wait i need to go help my mom w smth ill brb

 **beverlymarsh:** guys i just saw the cutest dog today ????

 **richietozier:** did u eat it

 **beverlymarsh:** WHAT 

 **beverlymarsh:** RICHIE YOU MONSTER

 **richietozier:** eat the dog

 **stanleyuris:** seriously richie shut the fuck up for once

 **richietozier:** hey fuck you man

 **benhanscom:** hey rich i dont ever remember you having a crush

 **richietozier:** dude ive had a ton of crushes

 **benhanscom:** do u have one now

 **richietozier:** yup

 **beverlymarsh:** WHO

 **richietozier:** im not saying

 **billdenbrough:** ,,, is it eddie

 **richietozier:** WHAT NO

 **beverlymarsh:** that was very defensive mr. tozier

 **richietozier:** fuck off i don't like eddie

 **mikehanlon:** mhm okay

 **eddiekaspbrak:** YOU FUCKING ASSHOLES

 **beverlymarsh:**  hello to you too eddie

 **richietozier:** hello sunshine

 **eddiekaspbrak:** DO NOT FUCKING CALL ME THAT I HATE ALL OF YOU

 **benhanscom:** what did we do now

 **eddiekaspbrak:** YALL WERE SPAMMING WITH MESSAGES AND MY MOM SAW THE GC NAME AND NOW SHE KEEPS LOOKING AT ME LIKE SHE’S SEEING DEEP DOWN INTO MY SOUL

 **richietozier:** why what’s the gc name

 **richietozier:** oh right

 **richietozier:** not my fault if you have to hots for me eds bby

 **stanleyuris:** richie you might want to shut up, he knows where you live

 **richietozier:** what can he do aH

 **richietozier:** eds?

 **richietozier:** eddie ?

 **richietozier:** im fucked

 **billdenbrough:** it was nice knowing you

 **stanleyuris:** why are you lying to him, it was horrible knowing him, some honesty before death bill

 **richietozier:** i will haunt you stan.

 **stanleyuris:** i'm shaking

 **beverlymarsh:** y’all where’s mike?

 **richietozier:** dude,, im about to get killed, i have no fucking idea about mike’s location

 **richietozier:** nvm he’s outside my house talking with eddie

 **richietozier:** idk if he’s offering to help him kill me or convincing him to let go of the idea

 **richietozier:** ABORT THEY’RE WALKING TOWARDS THE DOOR I’M GONNA DIE TELL EDDIE’S MOM IT WAS NICE BANGING HER

 **richietozier:** oh it’s okay they just wanted to talk about this project or whatever

 **eddiekaspbrak:** WHAT DID YOU SAY ABOUT MY MOTHER

 **richietozier:** oh hahahahaha

 **richietozier:** gtg,,

_**richietozier** left the conversation_

**eddiekaspbrak:**  i’m gonna murder him.

 **beverlymarsh:** you wouldn’t do that to your bby huh lover boi?

 **eddiekaspbrak:** i am going to murder you right after i murder him

 **beverlymarsh:** oh well,, i guess ill see y’all in hell ahaha

 **beverlymarsh:** in the meantime, anyone can tell me where richie is hiding so we can die together and then haunt all of you

 **benhanscom:** try eddie’s bed

 **stanleyuris:** are y’all fucking suicidal

 **mikehanlon:** life, death, everything is relative you know

 **beverlymarsh:** what the fuck mike

 **stanleyuris:** mike get out

 **billdenbrough:** shut up mike

 **benhanscom:** no one gives a fuck mike

 **mikehanlon:** tHE DISRESPECT

 **eddiekaspbrak:** WOULD YOU ALL SHUT THE FUCK UP AND CHANGE THIS FUCKING GC NAME

 **beverlymarsh:** your mom saw it again didn’t she

 **eddiekaspbrak:** ,, she did sigh


	3. wtf is reddie

_**eddiekaspbrak** added **richietozier** to the conversation_

**eddiekaspbrak:** come back i miss your annoying ass

 **richietozier:** DID EDDIE KASPBRAK

 **richietozier:** JUST SAY HE MISSED ME

 **richietozier:** THIS IS A MOMENT FOR THE FUCKING BOOKS

 **eddiekaspbrak:** i take it back

 **beverlymarsh:** do you really

 **eddiekaspbrak:** no i actually missed him

 **billdenbrough:** he was gone ten minutes

 **eddiekaspbrak:** shut up

 **richietozier:** you missed me

 **eddiekaspbrak:** fuck off richie

 **richietozier:** i miss u too eds

 **eddiekaspbrak:** stop calling me that

 **richietozier:** IM TRYING TO BE SOFT HERE GODDAMMIT WORK WITH ME

 **beverlymarsh:** this is amazing

 **benhanscom:** yall are so gone for each other

 **richietozier:** stop

 **eddiekaspbrak:** stop

 **mikehanlon:** did i tell you guys about the time i was at the store and i tripped and knocked over the entire shelf

 **eddiekaspbrak:** WAIT I WAS THERE

 **eddiekaspbrak:** I TURNED AROUND AND HE WAS FUCKING TUMBLING INTO THE SHELF

 **eddiekaspbrak:** AND THE ENTIRE THING FELL WITH HIM

 **mikehanlon:** he didn't even help me he just stood there laughing

 **mikehanlon:** he laughed so hard he started having an asthma attack in the middle of the store

 **stanleyuris:** so you knocked over the shelf and simultaneously eddie had an asthma attack

 **richietozier:** u guys are a fucking disaster

 **mikehanlon:** we aren't allowed in that store again

 **billdenbrough:** how did you even knock the shelf over aren't those bolted to the ground

 **beverlymarsh:** clearly this one wasnt bc he took it tf out

 **benhanscom:** i honestly expected me to be the one to knock over an entire shelf just from me weight

 **eddiekaspbrak:** i fucking hate richie he's such a fucking asshole

 **beverlymarsh:** we been knew

 **stanleyuris:** what did he do now

 **eddiekaspbrak:** he thought it would be such a genius idea to climb through my fucking window when i wasn't paying attention and scare me

 **eddiekaspbrak:** i swear i felt my fucking soul leave my goddam body

 **richietozier:** my lungs hurt

 **beverlymarsh:** wow i wish i would've been there to witness that

 **billdenbrough:** ^

 **benhanscom:** ^^

 **mikehanlon:** ^^^

 **stanleyuris:** ^^^^

 **eddiekaspbrak:** i hate you guys

 **billdenbrough:** i wish i was there to witness mike falling into a shelf

 **mikehanlon:** it was one of those with the sodas and shit

 **mikehanlon:** i almost drowned in caffeine

 **benhanscom:** what happened after that

 **mikehanlon:** the manager and security came over and saw me on top of a fallen over shelf covered in soda and eddie on the ground wheezing

 **stanleyuris:** did they think you were on drugs

 **mikehanlon:** probably

 **billdenbrough:** its been ten minutes where are eddie and richie

 **stanleyuris:** probably dead

 **beverlymarsh:** probably making out

 **beverlymarsh:** oh-

 **benhanscom:** two types of people

 **richietozier:** y'all,,

 **eddiekaspbrak:** don't you dare

 **richietozier:** remember when eddie broke his arm and he was like "DO NOT FUCKING TOUCH ME" and he looked like he was possessed??

 **billdenbrough:** how could anyone ever forget that

 **beverlymarsh:** i even have a pic

 **eddiekaspbrak:** what the fuck bev

 **beverlymarsh:** ,, richie pursue

 **richietozier:** AS I WAS SAYING,, eddie and i were hanging out and we saw a cat and he looked exactly like eds when he broke his arm so i just screamed "EDS LOOK ITS YOU"

 **eddiekaspbrak:** richie i swear to god i will literally chop your dick off

 **richietozier:** aND THIS IDIOT LOOKED AT THE CAT AND THEN AT ME AND ANSWERED COMPLETELY SERIOUS "no rich that's clearly a cat, are you feeling well?"

 **eddiekaspbrak:** i fucking hate you

 **benhanscom:** what the fuck eddie

 **mikehanlon:** ThAt'S cLeArLy A cAt RiCh

 **beverlymarsh:** ArE yOu FeElInG wElL

 **stanleyuris:** you're even more naïve than bill

 **billdenbrough:** uM EXCUSE YOU

 **stanleyuris:** ,, im sorry babe

 **richietozier:** stan the man is a whipped boyfriend who would have thought

 **stanleyuris:** fuck off

 **richietozier:** always a pleasure talking with you stanley

 **richietozier:** aNYWAY

 **richietozier:** i decided to keep the cat and name it eddie spaghetti

 **eddiekaspbrak:** YOU DID WHAT

 **beverlymarsh:** aW THAT'S SO CUTE

 **stanleyuris:** ew that's so weird

 **benhanscom:** once again, two types of people

 **eddiekaspbrak:** at this point i dont know if i should feel offended or flattered

 **mikehanlon:** offended 100%

 **billdenbrough:** definitely flattered

 **eddiekaspbrak:** YOU GUYS LITERALLY HAVE DIFFERENT OPINIONS ON EVERYTHING HOW ARE WE ALL EVEN FRIENDS

 **stanleyuris:** richie started a food war and then later decided we were all his best friends,, we didn't have a word in this decision

 **richietozier:** ah first grade,, what an amazing year

 **eddiekaspbrak:** wtf i don't remember any food war

 **billdenbrough:** that's cause rich decided to do it when you weren't there cause he didn't want you to get hurt

 **richietozier:** BILL

 **billdenbrough:** fuck,, i wasn't supposed to say it

 **beverlymarsh:** THAT'S SO CUTE AW

 **eddiekaspbrak:** richie, is it true ?

 **richietozier:** ,, maybe

 **eddiekaspbrak:** oh

_**beverlymarsh** named the conversation **reddie has been real since first grade**_

**richietozier:** wtf is reddie

 **billdenbrough:** dont ask,, i regretted when i asked what stenbrough and benverly meant

 **eddiekaspbrak:** y'all make me suicidal

 **richietozier:** :')

 **beverlymarsh:** :')

 **mikehanlon:** :')

 **billdenbrough:** :')

 **benhanscom:** :')

 **stanleyuris:** :')

 **eddiekaspbrak:** wow another gc name that my mom can see and stare into my soul as a result

 **richietozier:** you can't hide our love from your mother forever eds

 **eddiekaspbrak:** shut the fuck up richie

 **richietozier:** he just through his entire sandwich at me

 **eddiekaspbrak:** i regret it now

 **eddiekaspbrak:** HE'S EATING IT NOW WSKKS

 **benhanscom:** i mean why waste a perfectly good sandwich

 **eddiekaspbrak:** yeah but i wanted the sandwich

 **richietozier:** you can eat it out my mouth

 **eddiekaspbrak:** ew what the fuck

 **beverlymarsh:** if that's your way of getting him to kiss you there are better ways

 **richietozier:** like what

 **beverlymarsh:** maybe start with "can i kiss you"

 **richietozier:** too casual

 **eddiekaspbrak:** why are we talking about this you aren't kissing me

 **richietozier:** why not

 **billdenbrough:** just kiss him

 **benhanscom:** go on and kiss da boy

 **eddiekaspbrak:** i hate you guys

 **stanleyuris:** kiss him kiss him kiss him

 **beverlymarsh:** KISS HIM KISS HIM

 **richietozier:** y'all dont gotta tell me twice

 **beverlymarsh:** DID-

 **stanleyuris:** he better do it

 **richietozier:** henlo

 **beverlymarsh:** DID YOU DO IT

 **richietozier:** i did

 **billdenbrough:** AND

 **eddiekaspbrak** : he started laughing in the middle and when i asked him what the fuck was so funny he said he was just thinking about how many germs are in the human mouth and how many we could be swapping right now

 **mikehanlon:** richie you're actually the worst

 **richietozier:** he didn't care thought he just kissed me again

 **benhanscom:** WAIT

 **benhanscom:** EDDIE KASPBRAK NOT CARING ABOUT GERMS

 **benhanscom:** WHAT

 **eddiekaspbrak:** i will actually fucking murder all of you

 **beverlymarsh:** REDDIE IS REAL BITCHES

 **stanleyuris:** about time you assholes made a move

 **stanleyuris:** im sick of seeing you guys flirt and not do anything about it 

 **richietozier:** do i need to bring up the fact that you were head over heels for bill for five years before he made a move

 **stanleyuris:** no shut the fuck up

 **richietozier:** dont dish it out if you cant take it stanley

 **eddiekaspbrak:** beep beep richie

 **billdenbrough:** why does that only work with you

 **mikehanlon:** whenever any of us try he keeps talking

 **beverlymarsh:** its bc he's completely gone for eddie

 **richietozier:** true

 **eddiekaspbrak:** h

**Author's Note:**

> follow my ig @clydesdonovan and nan's @bellarmys pls


End file.
